Have you ever heard the song, You Keep Me Hanging On by Kim Wilde?
If you feel like you are being “toyed with” by someone else, the words may help you realize that you aren’t alone. There are many ways that you may be breadcrumbed by someone; this is just one - him stringing you along when he isn’t serious about being with you.
Often, people engage in this behavior because they want to keep you in their life, even if they have to do so by feeding you “emotional crumbs” here and there.
Do you get late-night texts or random social media messages that confuse the heck out of you? Yeah, there’s a good chance you’ve been breadcrumbed by someone who doesn’t really care about having a relationship.
In this article, we will look at what exactly breadcrumbing is, the top breadcrumbing signs to watch for, and how to respond to such bizarre behavior. We’ll hook you up with a great approach, so you aren’t feeling down after having someone do this to you.
According to the New York Times, when a person is breadcrumbing you, they may be trying to keep you “on hold” to keep you “hanging on,” as the song goes. This happens when a guy dumps you but refuses to let you move on with a new guy. Other people who do this aren’t even interested in you but want to keep getting attention from you, keeping themselves relevant.
Let’s look at the top signs that a guy who is breadcrumbing you might exhibit. This will give you some signs to look out for, so you won’t walk away from your contact with him feeling frustrated and less sure of yourself.
After all, he’s probably only behaving this way to get a quick ego boost or to make him feel good, not you. Watch for these signs when flirting with a new flame!
So, you’ve had a bad day and want someone to lean on for support; the guy who has breadcrumbed you for the past few weeks is not that person! He never asks about your day, how you are feeling, or what he can do to make things better.
One minute he’s texting you; the next minute he’s sending you funny posts on Facebook. Who can keep track of this digital moodiness? You probably feel confused and frustrated because he won’t show you any consistent behavior. You could always show him how it feels and plays “Houdini” with him, coming and going as you feel like it.
He won’t commit to a feeling or action; rather, you just don’t know what to expect from one day to the next. Some people might call him a flake - someone who is wishy-washy to the point that you don’t even understand what they mean!
You try to talk about real topics with him, and it always turns into a bad conversation or results in you being ghosted. Don’t you want to have communication with a person who values what you have to say and enjoys talking about the important things in life?
Sometimes, he’s texting you a hundred times a minute; other times, it seems like he’s fallen off the face of the planet. It’s very confusing! Realize that you deserve to have consistency in your life, and the last thing you need is for someone to be playing with your emotions by confusing you, especially if this is done on purpose.
So, you have finally put your foot down and demanded a conversation about your relationship. Yeah, that doesn’t go over very well at all with these types of guys. He’ll probably turn the tables, saying that it’s your fault that the two of you haven’t had a more consistent relationship, when really it’s his!!
Do you doubt your feelings and actions because of his actions? He may be doing this on accident, not wanting you to feel bad, but more than likely, he’s just a jerk, stringing you along. No one wants to be treated this way.
You’ve tried to get him to talk about his feelings. It’s true that most guys aren’t excited about doing this, but a guy leaving you breadcrumbs may show some serious signs of avoidance when you try to find out just what in the heck the two of you are doing together. Have you tried to find out how he defines your relationship?
If he won’t even commit to a real conversation with you, he’s probably acting out in this way; he may not even be interested in you but hopes to keep you on the hook until someone better comes along.
Like banging your head against a brick wall, you’ve tried over and again to work out a time that the two of you can spend together so that you can really get to know one another. For some reason, it just never pans out.
Maybe he’s drunk or lonely, but for whatever reason, when he needs to talk to you, you’re there for him. Why can’t he return the favor and treat you the same?
Sure, he’ll talk for hours - if the subject is him! He likes to joke, tell stories, and make you laugh. That’s all fun and games, but when was the last time he asked something personal about you so that he can get to know you better?
Does he just disappear sometimes, for no apparent reason at all? Often, when you are being breadcrumbed, the guy just comes and goes as he sees fit. Instead of giving you a consistent idea of when he’ll be around or what he’s up to, it seems like he’s disappeared into thin air! This kind of selfish behavior doesn’t warrant an encore.
Maintain the respect you have for yourself, and don’t let this person’s actions affect your self-esteem. No one should make you feel like you aren’t worthy of being with them. Instead, know what you want out of life and go for that! Just don’t let people like this change the way you feel about yourself. You don’t want to be one of those types of people who are pushovers.
The best action you can take when someone is breadcrumbing you is to just say, “Next!” In other words, move on, ignore them, and/or delete them - whatever you need to do to get people like this out of your life. No one deserves to be treated that way, and you certainly could do better! Just realize this individual is acting selfishly and stop wasting your time!
He probably makes you feel confused and frustrated; he may be making you hang on to him even though the two of you aren’t together anymore. What are you feeling after your interactions with this person? That should give you the best answer.
I would call this “flakiness.” He may make dates with you but always comes up with an excuse last minute or plans just never work out for some reason. Has he hit you up for a late-night booty call? These are the actions of being breadcrumbed in a relationship.
The smart move is to move on with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, a person who genuinely cares about you and your feelings. You want to hold yourself to high standards and ditch anyone who doesn’t treat you with respect.
If you have decided to continue talking to a guy who has breadcrumbed you, you should be direct in your communication. Tell him what you expect from him and explain that you don’t want to be led on if the relationship is going nowhere.
This is a guy’s way of keeping women “in reserve” while dating other people. Some guys do this so they won’t have to worry about getting lonely in life; others just want lots of women to be hooked in case things don’t work out with the women they’re dating.
Are you a victim of breadcrumbing? Have you struggled to find the best ways to handle this kind of behavior? If you have some tips on the best way to handle breadcrumbing, please share them in the comments section below, and don’t forget to share this post!