My Boyfriend Doesn't Love Me Anymore What Should I Do? (15 Effective Tips)

by April Maccario

When you’re in a relationship, it is so much fun! You get to think about one fine specimen of a man all the time, without feeling bad because he’s yours! Thinking about your boyfriend regularly gives you butterflies in your tummy; thus, you’re always on the lookout for things you can do to see him every day. 

You get him lovey gifts and notes you think he’d like because you really want to see him happy. And when he does the same things for you, you’re ecstatic and beyond elated. Naturally, you’re meant to feel like that because your emotions are being reciprocated with honesty and of course, love.

But what happens when all the affection simply isn’t there anymore? What happens when the once smooth love road you were both on is now dusty with one passenger; you? Nowadays, you feel like your boyfriend has no love for you, and the relationship has become one-sided. 

I know it hurts to think about the possibility of an ending, but that might be the option if you don't wish to be drained and exhausted physically and emotionally. If you think your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore and you have no clue what your next step should be, keep reading!

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Love Me Anymore

1. Try to understand him

You've realized that despite nothing being wrong with you or your relationship, your boyfriend doesn’t love anymore, talks to you less, and doesn't care about things you do or say. This might not make much sense to you because technically, nothing happened to cause that. Your emotional state might wander between confusing and the constant state of being upset at yourself, and your boyfriend.

He doesn’t love me anymore! No matter how painful this revelation might be for you, you should as much as possible, take a step back and consider things from the view of your boyfriend. He's human. He loved you, yes, but something happened, and now that feeling has changed or disappeared forever. 

Think about how hurt he must've felt, telling this to your face, even though he's loved and given his love to before. It couldn't have been easy on him too. The same way you're hurting, chances are he's also hurting so try to understand him and never ignore his emotions.

2. Give your man some space

As crazy and unthinkable as this might sound, I think It is one of the best points I'll ever offer in this article. Give your boyfriend some space. It is possible that his sudden change in mood needs a little more attention from him and him alone. Leave him to himself to assess everything he's going through and feeling, since he may not want to break up with you. It might be that he only feels like you both need a break.

Every once in a while, we all need and deserve some time alone. It does us a lot of good since it allows you to get your mind off all relationship issues and focus on something else; something different. Giving him time to himself will enable him to work through his emotions and come up with a solution to the situation. 

3. Talk to your boyfriend

Communication, communication, communication! We always see this word and might have rolled our eyes after seeing it right now, but that's okay. Communication is very vital if you wish to understand your partner better. In a relationship, both parties should be able to relate verbally, to know how the other is feeling and thinking as much as possible. One of the best things to do, when you think your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore is to talk to him. If you're having issues, communicate with him to find out more about the situation.

Asking your boyfriend about his faded feelings and how that might've originated may bring up responses like 'I don't know'. This is perfectly normal and should be expected. He might honestly have no idea what caused his emotions to vanish. So, listen to him when he's talking and avoid lashing out at him during the conversation. If he's not up for a chat, it's best not to push it since he might give only vague answers or get upset with you.

4. Find out what he wants to do

Find out what he wants to do

Now that he's been given some time alone, you can find out, once he's ready to address the issue with you again, the next steps forward. Find out what it is he wishes to do, instead of concluding. Many times women love to draw conclusions based on things we've noticed or seen. We hardly choose to find out precisely what the issue is before coming up with a judgment. Doing this in such an instance can be damaging for you in the end.

Ask him if he wishes for you to break up or not. Chances are he's just confused about how he's feeling, but will still love to make things work. In other cases, your boyfriend doesn’t love being with you anymore because his feelings for you have simply faded away without any explanation, and he'll love for things to come to an end. Making the decision isn't yours alone, but also his so find out from him what he wishes to do next concerning the relationship.

5. Come up with a plan

In all situations and scenarios of life, having a plan is one of the best things you can do, if you wish to be organized and well balanced. Having a strategy is always a good idea. Right from the start of your conversation with your boyfriend, you should think about what the next steps will entail. You both need to be clear about where you're heading, and whether or not you're heading in that direction together or individually. In fact, finding out my partner didn’t love me anymore was one of the best things that happened to my relationship, since it helped us work on becoming better together.

If both of you decide to stay together, the next step is to think about how best the flame can be rekindled because it has to be brought back for the relationship to be successful. Make things in your plan simple with things like spending more time together, talking about your fondest old memories, being flirty with one another regularly. 

The plan should consist of activities that encourage both parties to put effort into the relationship once more. You can try out the new time together plan for a couple of months, and if things improve, you keep working harder to keep true love alive. If nothing works, know that you both tried, but somethings cannot be anymore.

6. Evaluate your feelings

In such situations, it is excellent to think about your boyfriend and how he must be faring after having to tell you about his emotions, or lack thereof. While this is great, make sure to take care of your opinions too. You've been dealt a heavy blow you might have never seen coming, and it will be tough to absorb. You will experience some pretty strong feelings, which is necessary for you to process them fully.

On evaluating your emotions, it involves identifying the feelings you're experiencing. If you can't do this, that's okay too and natural. Figure out why you're feeling such emotions; which part of your boyfriend's unrequited feelings hurt you the most? Asking yourself questions such as ‘Why am I angry he doesn’t love me anymore?’ can reveal more than you can imagine. It might be because he didn't talk to you earlier when his love started fading.

It might also be because the relationship is about ending. Evaluate these feelings to an extent, after which you monitor them to find out when they're most triggered. Is it better when you talk to him, or it gets worse? Being aware of such moods helps you to begin the healing process.

7. Dwell on your emotions

From the evaluation of feelings, the next step is to take the necessary time to process all your emotions. Many of us are too quick to ignore our emotional imbalance, declare ourselves fine, and fight to move on. This never works but instead always finds a way to bite us in the behind when we least expect it. Suppressing how you feel or choosing not to dwell on your emotional state can be very damaging to you and everyone around you. 

Now, I’m not saying stay somber for days on end, only crying and sniffing into tissues until the world comes to an end. Instead, process your feelings how best you seem fit, be it confusion, anger, heartbreak, sadness, and frustration. Cry, work out a little, document everything into your cute journal or try some yoga. Dwelling on your emotions doesn't mean picking up unhealthy habits but instead taking care of yourself such that you come out healthy and fully healed

8. Is it worth trying to make things work?

You need to figure out if it's worth trying to make the relationship work once more. Your boyfriend just let you know that his feelings toward you are non-existent after years of being together. This can be a very hurtful comment to digest, but it must be done such that you get to heal faster. More so, there are many options you can reach as a couple after you've both communicated as honestly as possible.

Also, you can both decide that the best way forward is to try and make the relationship work because your boyfriend still cares about you and is willing to put in the effort. This journey isn't comfortable as it will demand some changes from both people for success. Another option is to decide to break up, even though this doesn't seem like the best choice. It might be necessary in some cases though, showing that no matter the decision you choose as a couple, there's no right or wrong way to go about things. Choose a route that works for both of you.

9. Seek external advice

Ask family and friends for advice on what they think is the best step for you to take. There are different ways to get solutions to such an issue, from the internet, for example. Still, these solutions will not be specific to your relationship, only a mere generic approach to the situation. More so, your family and friends know both of you better than any online blog, and as such, they may be in an excellent position to offer advice. 

Furthermore, it is also good to note that asking your friends and family for suggestions doesn’t mean you must take what they say hook, line, and sinker. So, consider every piece of advice carefully, and don’t make things friends suggest your final decision. always proceed with caution with this point, as some friends may be helpful but not great at giving advice. 

10. Consider specific situations 

One way or another, the key to why your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore can be found in recent events you've gone through together. The only way to find this out is to take a look at all of such events together, be it an argument or a comment he didn't agree with. Some little things tend to become vast and potential triggers that can get people rethinking their emotional state. It may have been a comment passed not by you but rather by another he's close to, like family and friends.

It might not be easy or possible to figure out the instances where such comments were passed, but the effort made is essential. In some cases, you may never find out how and where the issue came from, and you'll have to be okay with not knowing. More so, making an effort, however, to consider specific situations can go a long way to help each one better understand what's happening in your relationship and why your bond cannot be saved anymore.

11. If all else fails

Both of you should consider not being together anymore. This is the last resort to every relationship, and it's most probably the last action you would always wish for. In some cases, though, it might be the best and necessary thing to do. If you've lost all hope and the relationships don't show any signs of improvement, you will have to call the relationship off to avoid future hurt.

This option should be considered after you’ve both tried to resolve the issue and they’re still not working out. It’s natural for some relationships not to work out anymore; yours being a part of that number doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. The less dramatic form of breaking up is when it is mutual, meaning both parties want it. This happens when neither of you is happy, and you believe you’re better off apart than together. 

12. Don’t beg him

No matter how things turn out in your relationship, once you've communicated and he is of the view that a breakup is best, do not beg him for his love. Never ask for him if he doesn't want to change or if he says he'll change but doesn't. This makes your relationship a toxic one since it shows how needy and desperate you are.

Your boyfriend might decide to stay not because he cares or loves you, but rather because he sees an opportunity to step on you, taking advantage of your love for him. Remember that he's not the only guy in the world, and others will love you to bits.

13. Find your happiness

Find your happiness

Everyone deserves to be happy, no matter what, even you. Never forget this, no matter how downhearted you may be feeling at such a time. You deserve to be happy, and as such, it's better to move away from a guy who treats you like crap all the time because of his lost feelings for you. So, find your freedom and choose yourself above all. Do whatever you like to help you heal and move on with ease.  

You can travel, try out new sports, make new friends or start something you’ve always put on hold. No matter what you choose, make sure it’s something that liberates you and makes you eternally happy. Do anything you wish to, except finding a rebound boyfriend; this can be drama with someone else you don’t need.

14. Learn to love and trust again

The healing process, after breaking up with someone you loved, can be severe and slow, but it is possible. Many before you have gone through what you're going through, and they've ended up finding people better than those they were with before. Others have ended up with those same people, but under better conditions and in better stages of their life.

Life has a funny way of saving the best people for us till later, so as much as possible use the time alone to work on yourself, and learn to open your heart once more. Read books, allow yourself to go on dates with someone else without many expectations, work on forgiving and forgetting your boyfriend, and move on like the amazing woman you are. 

15. Don’t hate him

You can still be friends with your ex. You don't have to hate him for not loving you back, or for his emotions disappearing; for the most part, it was no one's fault. There's nothing wrong with remaining friends, provided both of you respect the boundaries set Don't allow him to walk all over you if you still love him, and don't try to make him feel guilty always about the breakup that ensued. 

As two adults, living as civil friends should be possible, especially if there was no dramatic fight and end to the affiliation. You never know when you might need each other's help.

FAQs 

What should I do if my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore?

If you've realized that, your boyfriend doesn't love or care about you anymore, the first and best thing to consider doing is talking to him about him. At least, that’s the first thing I tried when I felt he couldn’t love me anymore.

Communicating with him helps you to evaluate both your feelings and his, to know if it is possible to make things work once more, or its time to say goodbye. You can ask some friends you trust for advice on the matter, taking their suggestions as stepping stones of advice and not your concrete decisions.

Why do I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me when he does?

As some may say, a woman's intuition rarely tells a lie. In many cases where you feel the love has gone out of your boyfriend’s heart, you’re more than likely to be right. When you are, it is good to know that such a thing isn’t your fault. There are so many reasons why your boyfriend’s emotional state may have left. It may feel like a cold shower, but once you feel like this, putting a halt to the bond may be the best. 

How do you know when your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore?

If you're uncertain as to how your boyfriend currently feels about you, but you're leaning towards the negative here are some signs to know if indeed, your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore. Your boyfriend may decide to do nothing when you're feeling down. This is a sure sign he doesn't have any feelings for you. If he did, he wouldn't back down in trying to make you feel better.

What do you do when you feel like your boyfriend doesn't care?

When both of you are cool, calm and comfortable, you can bring it up in conversation. ‘Don’t you love me anymore? What’s wrong?’. Make time to talk to your boyfriend about your thoughts, and be sure to tell him everything you feel. If he does care and loves you as much as you think he does, he'll be more than willing to change for the sake of the relationship and your sake as well.

What are the signs when a relationship is over?

When your bond doesn’t feel like it’s working anymore, there are some easy ways to identify that date and from your partner. During this time, they'll prefer to spend a long time with friends and family than with you. You'll suddenly stop being the first person they come back to with news and anything significant that happens to them, and you'll find that your boredom echoes loudly outside your relationship.

To Conclude

Many people find affection from others to be a fleeting feeling, while others do not. No matter where you stand, finding out that someone doesn’t love you anymore can be very devastating and heart-breaking. But it doesn’t have to be the end. 

I hope the tips in this article helped you keep a clear mind and heart, during such a time and that as you get better, you also teach others how they can get better with the tips from this piece. 

April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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