Am I High Maintenance? (19 Ways To Tell If You’re Too Demanding)

Last updated on June 17, 2022 by April Maccario

I know how it feels when friends, neighbors, colleagues, or even your partner treats you as if you’re too demanding? What’s their problem anyway? 

No doubt, it’s easy to get riled up by such terms, especially when they are directed at you too often. Here’s the thing though, before sending back that well-thought-out clapback, it’s important to take the time to think you’re character through.

Are you really that demanding? Does your attitude make others stressed out, annoyed or irritated? 

It would be great if the answers to these questions were all no, but hey, it’s one thing to actually know you’re more low maintenance than demanding and it's another to lie to yourself. 

So, maybe you have overheard others talking about your demanding character, or you feel like everyone around you is basically walking on eggshells. You probably want to get better at balancing out a demanding lifestyle and a low-maintenance one. The first step is finding out if you truly live a low-maintenance life or a really demanding one.

19 Ways To Tell If You’re Too Demanding

1. If you have an Inferiority complex

An inferiority complex entails having an unreal feeling of inadequacy almost every day. If someone has an inferiority complex, they could be quite aggressive and pompous to make themselves feel better. 

Ask yourself this, do you feel good about yourself deep down? If so, there’s no point proving to the whole world that you’re classy, bougie, smart or trendy. Rather, get comfortable in your own skin and try to love yourself regardless of your flaws.

2. If you complain a lot

if you complain a lot

Those who deem themselves perfectionists often like to complain about every little thing; both good and bad. How your food was cooked, how the furniture is arranged, how others greet you; it’s never that serious. If you keep obsessing and complaining about every little detail, people will get tired of your consistent rants. 

3. You love material things

We all need money, and as such, nobody can outrightly insist that they don’t get excited by thoughts of material things. However, when you take things a bit too extreme, then there's a problem. A low-maintenance person worries more about comfort, while a demanding person spends a lot of time obsessing over new trends every day. 

I’m not suggesting you should set low standards when it comes to your appearance, but don’t get so engrossed in it that it becomes unhealthy and annoying to others.

4. If you are needy

You always want to be loved, cared for, cuddled, called every morning and night before you sleep, and more. These are the primary emotional needs everyone has. However, when you take it too far, it gets irritating

Doing things like calling your partner every hour, asking him when he’s going to take you out, or always wanting attention from your friends, are good examples.

5. If you are selfish

If you’re one that thinks only about your happiness, then I can imagine how difficult it can be to cope with you. Some people live life as if no one else exists; they don’t listen to others or consider them when making important decisions. It’s more than likely that you are high maintenance in your relationship - if this applies to you. 

6. If you are too picky

If you are the type of lady who is too picky about what to eat, wear, or drink, then that’s a bit excessive don’t you think? If you spend your time insisting on every little detail, it makes your character harder to deal with.

7. If you are a perfectionist

if you are a perfectionist

Perfectionism is best understood from a psychological view as a personality trait characterized by a person ‘’striving for flawless results’’. This is usually accompanied by critical self-evaluation and concerns regarding other people's opinion. 

People like this always try to be flawless in all they do. They never want to see people around them make mistakes, and most times, they come off harsh and hostile to others around them. 

8. If you care too much about your looks

Placing priority on how you look may not come off as something unusual, especially among women. However, when it gets to a point where you can’t go down to the corner store without wearing full makeup or dressing exquisitely, you are high maintenance, no doubt. 

9. If you are too classy

There is nothing wrong with wanting to wine or dine with classy people in classy restaurants. However, this should not make you look down on your peers or speak ill of anything that does not resonate as classy. This would only make your family and friends perceive you as being too bougie or demanding for them.

10. If you are too excessive

If you’re always nagging, complaining about every little thing, demanding attention, money, etc. then you fall under the ‘excessively demanding category.’ No one likes a lady who acts extremely perfect and is hard to please.

11. If you are a proud person

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone is proud is that they do not apologize easily. Even when they are at fault, it becomes difficult for them to admit that they were wrong. Being in a relationship with this kind of person is usually challenging and traumatic because they never see themselves as the problem. 

12. If you don’t love him

Ladies, you know how some of us get, we find this guy who we don’t really fancy but can push around, and then we stick to him. There’s no love or real connection. You just enjoy how much attention he gives you, and the services he’s rendering.

13. If you are petty

If you are the type of woman that does not easily forgive or let things slide, then that means you’re petty. Ladies that are demanding are also very petty, they want to constantly feel on top and keep you in their place.

14. If you are the jealous type

Being in a relationship with someone who is exceptionally jealous can be very traumatizing and uncomfortable. It usually takes lots of energy, patience, and tolerance to deal with jealous partners. 

15. If you are arrogant

This behavioral characteristic goes hand in hand with pride. You hardly listen to anyone else than yourself and behave as if the world revolves around you

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16. If you have high expectations

Expecting too much from your partner has a way of putting so much pressure on him. More so, in the event that he does not meet these expectations, you react, get mad, and swing into a mood. This goes to prove how high maintenance you can be. 

17. If you are quarrelsome

Ladies who don’t admit that they are wrong may be demanding. They quarrel, shout and scream until they get their way. However, for ladies who don’t want to lose their calm, they’d probably keep malice or use sophisticated words to win the argument

18. If you have trust issues

if you have trust issues

If you are the type of woman that has difficulties trusting other people, then it’s possible that you are too demanding.

19. If you hard to please

If you’re a lady who isn’t easily appeased, or your standards are very high that people around you have to struggle really hard to meet up, you are high maintenance. 


What does it mean for someone to say that you are high maintenance? 

When someone refers to you as high maintenance, what they mean is that you require a lot of money, time, effort, and energy to stay happy or stable at least. 

Is it wrong to be high maintenance? 

When you’re high maintenance, it affects those around you more. As an individual, it’s okay to have high standards, but when people around you start complaining, then that’s when there’s a problem. 

What does it mean if a woman is high maintenance?

A high-maintenance woman is someone that has high standards in just about everything; relationships, men, fashion, and taste. These standards are materialistic, emotional, and otherwise.

What is the difference between high maintenance and high maintenance? 

The high maintenance life is different from a low maintenance one because the former needs lots of work, time, and money to sustain it, while the latter requires less effort to go about their regular life. 

What does it mean when a guy calls you petty?

It means that the guy feels you are obsessed with little things that don’t matter. To him, the things you concern yourself with don’t matter. 

To Conclude

I hope you enjoyed reading through this list, but more importantly, that you figured out whether you live a demanding life or not. What are your own thoughts on the subject? Feel free to leave a comment below and share this with your friends as well.

Do you hate it how everything seems to always revolve round him while you just seem to be an afterthought sometimes?
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It almost makes you wonder whether he actually likes you or whether he's just stringing you along.

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April Maccario
I'm a huge nerd when it comes to understanding how relationships between men and women work, and what drives a certain behavior. I spend much of my time getting into the nitty-gritty and try to share my findings on this site with the hope of making life a little easier for women that are struggling in their relationships or love life.

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